The Wildest Flush in the Wilderness!

Howdy folks! So happy you've come back to visit! We know the trail's a long and dusty one, so pull up a chair and oblige yourself to sit a spell. Six Bits and Dolly will be around soon with some fried chicken and cornbread. In the meantime, care for a cold sarsaparilla while you wait? No? Well, why the heck not?

Ah, I gotcha. You haven't used the commode since Dodge City! Well shoot, pardner! Let me point you and your kin in the right direction: the relief you're a-seekin' is just right around the corner there. Go make a little water then come on back for some grub. I aint goin' anywheres. Oh, and be warned: we've got a little fire ant problem 'round these here parts. So to make sure you don't have a fire ant problem around your parts, be sure to look about before you pull down your drawers!

Alright, enough of the cowpoke-cosplay. Welcome back, friend, to another review of an exceptional WDW Loo. We really are humbled you've found your way back to us for another visit: thank you! In case you didn't know, we are the world's exclusive site for in-depth and detailed reviews of Disney Parks & Resorts restrooms! Yep, we're kind of a big deal (oh brother -- ed)!

This week, we've got the great fortune to hit up one of our favorite resorts, Disney's Fort Wilderness & Campground, for a look at one of WDW's most iconic restrooms. Interestingly, there are many who've never seen Fort Wilderness, which is a shame as its beautifully-landscaped and serene grounds offer an escape from the hustle and bustle often experienced at other on-property locations.

There's so much to explore within Fort Wilderness' 750 acres we could devote an entire blog to this resort alone! Today, however, we journey to what is arguably the area's most popular location: Pioneer Hall.

Pioneer Hall is, of course, the home of WDW's long-running Hoop -Dee-Doo Revue, a Wild West-themed vaudeville show accompanied by what many consider to be some of the best vittles on property. Hoop-Dee-Doo is about to celebrate its 43rd anniversary, quite a feat for any stage show, let alone one that is performed three times daily. The Revue is the longest-running stage show at WDW and one of the longest running shows in the nation!

When one is served buckets of fried chicken and ribs along with bottomless mugs of soda and beer, he or she will ultimately require a place to answer nature's call. Fortunately, we have just the place to tend to such matters!

When facing Pioneer Hall there's a sidewalk leading West on the buliding's South side. Here's a look at that sidewalk which, fortunately, leads right to our featured loo!

Here's the entrance to the little cowgirls' room. The log cabin facade really works in here in Fort Wilderness. We love the use of gas lanterns adapted for electric use -- this is a common finding throughout the restrooms here.

Here's a close-up of the women's loo sign:

You'll soon see everything about these restrooms have a lot of character, and the exterior signage is no exception. We love how the silhouette is fancied in western garb and how she is framed in logs and iron. Very cool!

Moving on to the companion loo (yes, even on the wild frontier, the locals are sensitive to those who would appreciate a larger outhouse) ....

Now we see the whole family, decked out in greens. We were a little disappointed the wheelchair-bound family member wasn't decked-out in period gear, though.

Take a peek into the companion loo for a second. There's a lot of detail here we'll get to once we dive into the men's room; however, it's worth noting there is a ton of space in this restroom -- more then enough for a plus-sized wheelchair or ECV along with several assistants.

Take a gander at this painted tile depiction of a stagecoach. This, too, is a recurring theme throughout these restrooms, and they add a ton of character.

Before moving into the men's loo, let's check out the "House Phone". This is a little odd on a few fronts: first, we'd have expected a telegraph; and, second, this is an interior phone posted on the exterior of a building (okay, now you're just being nit-picky -- ed).

Oh, and file this away for the next time you just want to check-in to goings on at WDW from afar. Maybe you've misplaced a six-shooter and can't recall if you left it on-property? Well, check out the House Phone Directory posted between the men's and women's loos for the number to call!

Here's a look-see at the exterior of the men's loo. Note the log-home alcove here. The door is appreciated, especially at Fort Wilderness (nobody likes bees inside their loo).

Finally, here's a close up of the men's loo sign: digging the period garb, and love the mustache even more.

Alright, enough pussy-footin' around the exterior! Let's go inside, shall we?

Wow! So much to see in this one, folks! This is one of, if not the most heavily themed (okay, okay -- simmer down you Tangled Loo fanatics, maybe it's not THE most themed) restrooms on-property. Don't sweat it, we'll break all this down to ensure you don't miss a thing. For now, though, soak up this view from the restroom entrance:

The eye is drawn to so many places, but ours were first tickled by the sink station. Grey counters, white basins, cool tile backsplash, and man-oh-man, those lanterns! Look at how they're hung, almost haphazardly, adding some real authenticity to this area.

Oh, and check out the mirrors above each basin:

The split wood frame here adds so much character to the sink station, we washed our hands three times just to soak it all in.

While we're here, let's take a closer look at the tile pattern above the sinks. Brick red below and cappuccino above, separated by a white trim holding a never-ending rope. This pattern is found throughout this loo's entirety (we feel the rope really ties it all together -- ed).

And speaking of tile, what about the pattern underboot?

Squares and triangles of greens, yellows, reds are arranged in an eye-catching pattern throughout this restroom. The colors at first seem unusual, however, when taken into context with the wall tile, the whole thing just works.

And here's a single pattern, isolated for your viewing pleasure:

Dead-ahead hang the urinals:

Let's mosey over for a closer look.

9 basins (3 of them for the shorter cowpokes) are ready and waiting to catch what's left of that Hoop-Dee-Doo Revue brew! Be sure to note, again, the roped accent tile running along the wall, that unique pattern on the floor. There's plenty of urinals here, folks: enough for a whole cavalry division!

Quit stallin' around!

6 stalls afford plenty of space for every saddle-sore backside in Fort Wilderness!

Here's a glance into the ADA-compliant stall.

Per usual, nothing fancy, but plenty of space afforded here.

Oh, and let's not forget the changing station for the wee ones. We like the stone countertop and, of course, the ongoing rope theme here; but, the real scene stealer is the tiled painting above!

Wow! Wouldja' just look at that scene! We love the details in this painted tile arrangement...

... but you ain't seen nothin' yet, pardner.

This here is the crown jewel of the Pioneer Hall loo! It's the one thing everyone lucky enough to use this here loo gabs about for years to come, and for good reason! The arrangement of tiles depicts a hilarious scene of a host of buckaroos being harassed and harangued by a whole nest of them pesky fire ants!

Let's take a closer look at this scene, starting from the left side:

These cowboys (well, with the exception of that grim feller sitting down) appear to be disrobing, itching and dancing -- all at the same time!

These cowpokes are really feelin' the burn, especially that oldtimer in the foreground who's taken to scratch his booted foot with a stick!

And lastly, these men are ... well, they ain't celebrating no birthday, that's for sure!

Wow! Don't you love it! This piece, along with the rest of the artwork in this loo, was painted by Oleg Stavrowsky, famed Contemporary Western artist, who, even today, at 90 years of age, is still producing iconic work near Austin, Texas. Way to go, Oleg!

Aaaand that wraps up another exciting loo review! Here's the round-up:

WDW LOO REVIEW RECAP OF THE FORT WILDERNESS RESORT & CAMPGROUND'S PIONEER HALL LOO:

Capacity: Massive. (9 urinals, 6 stalls, one ADA compliant). This thing could service a whole stable of horses with room to spare.

Cleanliness: Very clean. The companion loo looked a little worn on the day of our visit; but, hey, the West ain't called "Wild" without good reason!

Theming: Yeehaw! This loo's theme is one of our favorites!

Changing Station: Yes!

Access: Easy (but only if you're staying at Fort Wilderness)

Overall Rating: 5/5 urinal wafers!

We know what yer thinkin', cowboy: "5/5?!?!? You've got to be spittin' in my gravy!" Well, nossir, we ain't a-kiddin'! This here loo is, bar-none, our favoritest yet reviewed, and for that, we're giving it top praise! Yeehaw!

Seriously, folks, what's not to love about this one? So much thought and care went into making the use of this restroom a truly memorable experience. How can we not give it a perfect score? If you've never before ventured into Fort Wilderness, we cannot recommend the trip highly enough. And, of course, if you find your boots near Pioneer Hall, be sure to hit up this one-of-a-kind loo! You won't regret it!

Thank you, as always, for visiting our blog. We welcome your comments on our Facebook page and also below! Don't forget, you can also subscribe via the website so you receive an email message when a new review is published!

Until next time, friends: bottoms down and thumbs up!

Loo Review Matt